Let's start off by saying I am so thrilled to have girls.
I dream of shopping together, which my oldest is already showing an interest in. The idea of going to a winery together, I really hope they enjoy wine. I love the idea of going to concerts together, to see the new latest heart throb. I love the idea of talking about relationships with them, getting our nails done together, and one day helping them find a wedding dress. I am over the moon to have two beautiful girls, but I am also terrified to have two girls.
Let's be real, girls are moody, rude and go through a lot of changes both physically and emotionally. They have an attitude that cannot be matched. They are catty. They are strong-willed. They are so emotional. They whine, oh my goodness the whining. They think they are always right. Yes, I know I am also describing myself. It's real, girls are more difficult.
Now that my oldest is in school, some of my big fears have started. I will never forget the day Isabelle came home from school saying a classmate told her she can't play with the one group of girls. This one girl told the other classmates to not play with her also, so they listened to that child and no one played with Isabelle for a few days. I asked Isabelle why her classmate said that, she didn't know but she said she thinks it's maybe because the other girl dresses really nice. Why? What? You are 5, why is that starting already? We buy nice clothing, I try my best to do her hair everyday (this one doesn't usually happen) she has everything she needs. I honestly cannot believe the popular girl crap starts in kindergarten. I did talk to her teacher about this issue, and it was worked out, but man it sucks that I had to have that talk already.
Growing up, I dealt with the mean girls too. To be honest, there was a time I was a mean girl myself. Kids will always find someone to pick on, no matter what the issue may be. I know this happens with boys too, it's unfortunately kids in general.
For me, elementary school was the hardest in regards to mean girls. I would say up until grade 7 I was made fun of. Remember 3 way calls? I was a victim of that multiple times. Don't know what that is? You are lucky. It's basically where you have someone call you, with another person on the other line but you don't know this. They start talking bad about that other person on the line, in hopes to get you to say bad things also. After you have talked bad about that person, they speak up and say something back to you, then hang up. The anxiety this would cause was unreal. It caused a lot of unknowns for the next day at school. It could now mean no one will talk to you. It was awful. Now I know the way to not get mixed up in this is to simply not say anything back, but when you are a girl growing up you just want to fit in. To fit in, it meant to agree with someone even if you didn't agree. Maybe if I liked myself more, I would have not felt the need for others approval but I honestly still struggle with this. I want everyone to like me, even though I know that isn't possible. The thought that this hasn't even started for my girls yet, is a gut wrenching feeling. In the world we live in, it is much easier to make fun of someone. Social media is a huge culprit of this, and it's only getting worse. I hate that my girls will have to deal with this.
Body image, this is a HUGE one for girls. You are always comparing yourself to others; classmates, actors on TV, people you see on social media. As a woman in my early 30s, I am still guilty of doing this. They will both hate things about their bodies, they will both get comments made to them about their body, good and bad. They will get made fun of for something they can't control with their body. They will call themselves fat many times throughout their life. They will most certainly hate their hair, I don't know one woman who doesn't wish their hair was opposite of what it actually is.
Are they both actually beautiful? Well, now all the girls see you as a threat and will be mean to you for their own insecurities about themselves. You are doomed either way.
Boys, ugh the thought of boys scares the hell out of me. They will get their hearts broken multiple times, I am not ready for that heartache. The thought of them being in a bad situation with a bad boy makes me want to throw up. I tell my oldest often that no one can touch her body unless she says it's okay. She has no idea why I am saying this, but I am trying to put that into her head now so she knows that later on when hormones are going crazy for both her and the boys she's around. You need to give permission to be touched, and receive
permission to touch others. No questions asked.
I'm terrified for when parties start, not the cute kids parties I mean the teenager parties. The ones where drinking, sex and drugs are involved. I know this is awhile down the road, but it still causes so many uneasy feelings for me. I will be that parent that they can call no matter time of night, I do not want them getting themselves in a bad situation. If they need a ride home after drinking (even if they shouldn't be) call me, I will pick you up no questions asked. Do not get in a car with someone who has been drinking, EVER!
Don't get me wrong, I know boys come with a lot of issues too. I just know what it is like to be a girl growing up in school, it
was hard. I really want to teach them confidence so those nasty comments don't bother them. Unfortunately, my oldest is very sensitive like myself so the mean girls at school might be a lot for her to handle. My youngest would probably tell them where to shove it to be honest.
My hope for my girls is to be kind, respectful and knowledgeable people. I want them to love everyone no matter what. I want them to stand up for the kids getting made fun of. I want them to be exactly what this world needs. No pressure at all girls.
Love yourself, and everything else will fall into place.
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