“Almost 30% of Ontarians will experience a mental health or addiction problem at some point in their lives.
If you or someone you know needs support, Ontario offers several options for free, confidential help with mental health and addiction concerns”
-Ontario Government Website
I personally call a load of crap on that statement. Firstly, as everyone knows mental health is on the rise especially after Covid. It is way more than 30%.
That’s not what this is about, this is about the support.
What support?
That is my biggest question for the Ontario Government right now.
I have been struggling in a situation that I prefer not to share the details of. What I can tell you, is I have been suffering from some form of PTSD. I continue to get flashbacks of some scary situations I have been in. These make me very emotional, very down and a lack of eating. During these times, I usually don’t eat much because I am just not hungry. My appetite decreases significantly. I cry at anything and everything, it is so difficult to navigate everything by myself.
I have been given a few crisis lines to call, which I have, multiple times. I either leave a message and hear nothing back, or I talk to someone who gives me another number to call which never picks up.
Don’t even get me started on the waitlists in Ontario. I need help TODAY, mental health is not something that can wait 10 months. It has been impossible to find help.
I recently had a weekend where I just couldn’t stop crying, no matter what I did I was bawling. I decided enough is enough, I'm taking myself into emergency to get help. This was a huge, scary step for me to take.
I pull into the parking lot, it is packed.
I sit in my car for a bit, feeling a panic attack coming on. I was able to calm myself down, and I walked into that hospital.
I was “greeted” by a staff member at the front.
“You here for emergency?”
“Yes” I reply trying to hold back my tears
“You need to wait over there for a triage nurse” She pointed to a very full, busy emergency room.
Trying my best to not have a panic attack in front of this large group of strangers, I go closer to this staff member
“Is there any way I can wait in a space that is not as busy?” tears streaming down my face.
“No, you need to wait like everyone else” and she walked away.
Now I am in the beginning stages of a panic attack, so I walked out of the hospital and got back in my car.
I am disgusted, literally so upset with this situation. We talk so much about mental health, Bell lets talk day etc. Why when it comes down to actually helping someone in need, there is no care given at all?
Before I go any further, I want to make it very clear that I am not suicidal in any way. I do not want to hurt myself or anyone else. This needs to be made very clear.
My huge concern is what if I was suicidal? What if I went into that hospital as one of two options: Get help or end my life?
I decided to do the best thing and ask for help, only to feel worse than when I arrived.
Imagine being so down, you bring yourself into the hospital. The lowest of lows you can get for needing help. Only to be treated so poorly. If that was my state of mind, I would have left that hospital and gone to kill myself. This is fucking disgusting. The lack of care I received from that staff member, could have been the end of it for my life.
I called a crisis line and after two attempts, talked to someone.
I told her exactly what happened at the hospital. “Why are you at the hospital, what do you think they will do for you there?”
I immediately felt like I was being judge, and questioned in a very nasty way. I told her what is going on and that I am not eating.
“So, why would you not be eating? Are you at the hospital wanting a doctor to check you out? I’m confused why you are there”
The rest of the conversation was very similar, I felt like she judged me the entire time. I will never call a crisis line again after that experience.
My question is, when will things change? If I had taken the second option, nothing would be done about it. Something needs to be done about it.
Suicide has gone up in the past two years, no doubt. Are these individuals also seeking help like myself? Are they on a waiting list to get help? Are they feeling shut out by our healthcare system?
I am dealing with a lot right now, but I am strong. I know I will get through this, but I am sharing this for the people who don’t feel like they can get through it. The people who feel they only have that second, scary option left.
A lot of people suffered from Covid, but come on the suffering from the after math on our health care system should be our main concern. Not whatever strain we are on now.
This is ridiculous, enough is enough.
Figure your shit out Ontario, make big changes to our health care system.
We need the health care system more than ever now, what are you going to do to make these services available to Ontarians?
Please, do something.
Samantha Visser
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